Ok... So for the majority of this "blog" I have focused on what has been going on in my life, sharing with you my thoughts and more importantly feelings on a daily basis. I write this stuff not for you, but for me... I get way more out of expressing myself then the occasional chuckle and thought provoking statements that I provide to my readers. Today (Friday), the thing that I fear (cause that usually what I talk about) is the health and safety of Da Boys. I have touched upon how important they are in my life, how in all actuality they are my safety blanket. What I haven't mentioned is how much I think about them; constantly as if they are my children. The bond we share is not one of owner & animal, but what I assume a father and son realize... a feeling that I hope to share with a son or daughter of my own species someday (see yesterday's post about hopes, dreams, wishes).
Let's just say that I haven't been the most emotionally stable person lately, BUT... that's a good thing cause I am finally just being Justin. What I have learned is that I have no control, and my little boy is no exception.
Crew (Doobie Doobies) the beacon of positive energy, excitement, and the thrill of living that everyone animal or human should possess... the problem is he is not himself. From the moment I wake up, to the second I shut my eyes, I vicariously live my life thru my little boy. His smile lights up the room, his energy electrifies a room like a lightning bolt, and his personality sets the tone for every moment.
Knowing all of this, one could understand that if he is not alright... nothing's alright. I came home and as I do every day the first thing I do is let Da Boys in... They crash through the french doors as if they are made of butcher paper, jumping, playing, happy that we (oops, I) are home. Well this time was different; my little man let loose the highest pitch, loudest yelp that I have ever heard. Riling in pain, with nothing that I could do my heart sank, and of course the thin line that I walk with my emotions was easily crossed. I am helpless.
I think that if I had 2 wishes in my life (I say 2 cause the first one would be used on yesterday's blog) it would be the ability for Da Boys to speak. I know that they understand me, not just commands but dialogue; what I want if not just once is to hold a conversation with them, because I know that they would provide me with enlightening insight.
All I can hope for is a speedy recovery, and the occasional time where we lock eyes and we can read each others minds. Now if I could look in the mirror and do the same thing I would be set...
- Cheers
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