Super Bowl, Who Cares?

(Sunday)

One of the Luxuries of living in San Diego, and most of all being a Charger fan is that I never have to worry about watching the Super Bowl... To depress huh... Sad, but true! And to top it all off I it was hard to watch the game cause the Dem' Stillers were there again, and all I wanted to think about was one faithful Steeler all game long (and preceded to do so!). Be that as it may, I did my best not to ruin my experience. This Sunday was like every other Sunday for the past 2 months, I would lay low watch some TV, play some Black Ops, and Clean the house (never being able to really get rid of the dog hair). BUT NOT TODAY, IT WAS THE SSSUUUUUPPPPEEERRR BBBBOOOOWWWLLLL!! Are you ready for some football, A Sunday Night Party.... Well I was but not for the Stuper Bowl, but for the PPPAAARRRRTTTYYY!!!

So on Wednesday, on my trip to the Midway, I bumped into a co-worker on my way out of the office Stephanie Toms. I told her where I was headed and she asked if I wanted a ride (she lives downtown, kinda on the way), I said of course since she's rolling in her BF's Range Rover!! Sweet a 80,000$ cab ride!! WOOT! Anyways, upon dropping me off she invited me to a party that she was having for the game... Now I know what your thinking, she was just being polite; and I thought the same thing!! But she is an incredibly nice person and wouldn't say something like that if she didn't mean it... so on Sunday I had no plans, because I didn't make any cause in the back of my mind I already convinced myself I was going. Sure enough I texted her, and from what I gauged she was genuinely enthused and welcomed me with open arms!!

Ok so the ride over there I was nervous!! Do you believe that!! Me nervous about meeting new people? Never! Maybe thats because now Justin = Justin, and not some macho false male bravado version of Justin. So with nervous energy I got out of the car, and was immediately confronted by a guy asking "Are you Justin?" ... Alright here we go!!! I kindle replied yes and threw out my hand for a shake. It was Roger, Stephanie's BF, and he welcomed with great warmth, and walked me upstairs. In I walked to a eclectic group of about 20, who were all laughing, talking, and barely watching the pre-game festivities! All of them said hello with the same warmth, and I seamlessly melded into the crowd. There was tons of food, tons of great conversation, and I guess because someone told me, some sort of football game on!

Now with all the nerves gone I was able to just be myself, throw in an occasional joke, or insight (more of the first rather than the latter). Their apartment was beautiful, a 1 bedroom, on the second floor with windows facing the water, couldn't see it but it filled the place with natural light! Awesome! I spoke with Roger for sometime, and he showed me his guns...(which will most definitely be a future endeavor, he has a semi-auto rifle!! Can't wait!) and said that he liked the idea of something new everyday, which made me feel somewhat cooler (more interesting) in his eyes, dunno why but did. Made me proud to be me.

Now I have always been a suburban type guy, a house, with a big yard for the boys, and some space to stretch out... But to be honest, this was the first time that I thought to myself that I would like to live "in the city". That I could survive in an apartment downtown, that I would enjoy myself greatly... That I could rent out my house and move down there for the experience. Maybe it was a misguided thought due to the extent of fun I was having, but finding yourself is a ruff adventure, you never really sure about how your feeling at a given moment. Always second guessing your thoughts, emotions, asking yourself "Is it right to be feeling this way?, Am I on the right path?, Is this what I really want?" I have become what I thought previously my biggest fear, insecure about myself; in retrospective it feels remarkable. To finally know that it's Ok to just be me and to not be sure from time to time. It safely said that I have never been this vulnerable to myself, to my perceptions, my thoughts, my feelings, or my actions... an new found source of unlimited senses which ultimately grant me the special power of just being me.

I would like to personally thank Stephanie & Roger for being gracious hosts and welcoming me into their circle of friends. I hope it's not the last time!

- Cheers