Lunch w/ Meow Meow's

(Wednesday)

Let's start by saying that I am the luckiest Brothers in the world to have the 4 best siblings in the world. As most of you know the bond that you share is a one of a kind feeling, the time is irreplaceable, the smiles are genuine, and I have never felt alone in this world because I know that they are always there. I want to thank them and tell them that I love them from the bottom of my heart so Mason, Carmel, Jeff, & Tristyn I LOVE YOU!

Since the weather has been beautiful, and the server room doesn't have a skylight, I thought it would be a great idea to have lunch outside, so I could recharge my solar batteries. Heading across to Kros~Wise to make a Sammy, I thought man I would love some company and luckily Meow's was working! I asked her if she wanted to join and Hooray!!! So I packed a bag, and we were off!! We headed down to Ski Beach to sit by the water and bask in the glow of the killer rays. It was warm, but the breeze was refreshing like the bullet train on those terrible Coors Light commercials (dunno the well was dry for that smilie). We started under the gazebo, but come on man... we went out there specifically for the sun so we hurried out to a table closest to the water to fully emerge ourselves in the sunlight.

This might be one of the only times that I really don't want to get into specifics, but I want to talk about my sis Meow's and it's not my place to say. I will be an open book about my perspective, but if she wants to start her own blog she is entitled and I would be an avid reader (and follower - dig at all my readers who don't follow). Right now is a really transformational period in her life, and I am extremely worried about her. This is not a reflection on her, she is a great, well adjusted, intelligent young women! And I can't stress that enough! I am worried about something that she has no control over whatsoever. I am worried how this will effect her out look on life, my biggest fear is that she will become jaded and miss out on a much need influence that all people have to rely on. She is my little sis and that is an absolute that I cannot change (and never would want to), so my worry is how do I worry properly, how do I support, help, influence... I am almost helpless in this regard... Am I even in a state where I can be a positive beacon for her, an advocate that can make recommendations, can be there to discuss courses of action... cause for all intensive purposes I struggle with doing that for myself everyday.

I have an innate sense that I know she will rise like a Phoenix, that her will for happiness will win in the end, because frankly I seldomly (yes I know its not a word) come across a person with that desire and drive to persevere. I guess what I am really saying is I want to be there, be a rock, lean on that unbreakable bond that we share, but my newly discovered insecurity has me wavering on my ability to succeed. Not that I am not making a concerted effort, or trying my best, only that am I doing enough or correctly... constantly saying "What else can I be doing?" The conversation by the bay was deep, thoughtful, loving and brought may smiles to each of our faces, something that also lent me hope. I love my little sis and I know what Mr. Marly said rains true, "And every little thing, is gonna be alright"

Second guessing has become an art form; in which I am still just Finger-painting.

- Cheers

PS - MASE YOUR NEXT!